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'Allo 'Allo!

Seasons: 9
Episodes: 85
User ratings: 21,806
Average rating: 8.3

Comedy, History, War

In WW2 France, Rene Artois runs a small café where Resistance fighters, Gestapo men, German Army officers and escaped Allied POWs interact daily, ignorant of one another's true identity or presence, exasperating Rene.

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Season 9


Episodes details table

The British Are Coming
René Artois runs a café in the small German-occupied town of Nouvion in central France. He has a relationship with a local German commander, Colonel Kurt von Strohm, whereby Rene gets essential supplies such as butter and sugar, and the Germans get to spend time with one of Rene's pretty waitresses. René isn't sure what to do when Michelle from the French Resistance tells him that his café will now be a stop on the escape route for British airmen. Additionally, he is expected to provide shelter for their forger, Roger Leclerc. As if he doesn't have enough to deal with, von Strohm steals a valuable painting from the château that the Germans have commandeered for the local headquarters, "The fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" by van Klomp. Amid the chaos that has become René's life, they learn that Otto Flick of the Gestapo has arrived.
User ratings: 266
Average rating: 8.5
The British 'ave Come
With Otto Flick of the Gestapo searching for the painting of the fallen Madonna with big boobies for Hitler's art collection, Rene learns that he is to attend an interview at on Strohm's office. The Colonel's plan is to turn Rene over to Herr Otto Flick of the Gestapo along with the painting. Rene suggests that they keep the original but have a copy made for Flick. Unfortunately, the forger Roger Leclerc isn't an art forger. At the café, the patrons have a hard time with Edith's singing. Herr Flick and Private Helga Geerhart have a private and somewhat romantic dinner.
User ratings: 209
Average rating: 8.0
Pigeon Post
Rene's problems continue to mount. Colonel von Strohm and Captain Geering are sitting in the café posing as onion sellers. The British airmen have escaped posing as Germans but Michelle informs the café owner that they have been taken prisoner by the Communist resistance. The only solution they can come up with is to have new uniforms made in London. Without access to the radio, they decide to use carrier pigeons. Meanwhile, Leclerc the forger realizes that he and Edith's mother were once lovers.
User ratings: 183
Average rating: 8.1
Savile Row to the Rescue
Michelle from the Resistance entrusts Rene with a Bols gin bottle filled with nitro glycerin. He has trouble in the bar however when Lt. Gruber want a drink. Rene refuses but as soon as he turns his back Edith, who knows about the nitro, gives some to her mother and even to the chickens in the hopes they will lay more eggs. London is sending an airplane with the new German uniforms and to collect the painting of the fallen Maddona with the big boobies so that a copy can be made. The uniforms arrive in the company of a Saville Row tailor for the fitting.
User ratings: 170
Average rating: 8.0
The Execution
With the tailor safely on his way back to London, Rene and the others accompany the Resistance who try and blow up a train. They are all soon in jail, including Colonel von Strohm and Capt. Geering who are still masquerading as onion sellers. The two Germans manage to extricate themselves and plan on freeing Rene and the others. Unfortunately, General von Klinkerhoffen arrives and insists that Rene be shot by firing squad as an example to other would be saboteurs.
User ratings: 170
Average rating: 8.2
The Funeral
Now posing as his brother who has come to run the café, Rene now has to make arrangements for his own funeral. The undertaker visits the café and after showing off his wares, insists on measuring the deceased. After choosing his coffin - and is shocked at the prices - Rene weighs it down with bottles and an anti-tank mine the Resistance has left in his keeping. Herr Flick of the Gestapo attends the funeral in the hope of identifying anyone from the Resistance. The funeral goes off with a bang.
User ratings: 165
Average rating: 8.2
Reds Nick's Colonel
It's Col. von Strohm's birthday and Rene bakes him a cake and has a little party for him in the café. They are still awaiting the return of the painting of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies which is being copied in London. The Colonel and Capt. Geering are taken prisoner by the communist Resistance who plan on executing them for having had Rene shot by a firing squad. They want Rene to do the honors but he is saved from having to shoot them by the women from the café dressed as Germans. They finally receive the original and copy of the famous painting but Geering gives the wrong one to Herr flick of the Gestapo.
User ratings: 153
Average rating: 8.1
The Dance of Hitler Youth
Having given Herr Flick the real painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by Von Klomp instead of the forgery, Col. von Strohm and Capt. Geering have to find a way to switch them. They throw a party at the café where the girls entertain in Hitler Youth uniforms, something that will definitely draw Flick's attention. With he party going on, Rene and Edith will disguise themselves as German officers and make the switch. Nothing quite works out as planned however.
User ratings: 161
Average rating: 8.2
Six Big Boobies
Rene is annoyed when the airmen return and sends them away dressed as nuns with instructions to hide in the local convent. Edith,officially a widow,finds Rene's will,naming her as sole beneficiary,and sets out to spend his money on a new hat to attract other suitors. Flick gets Gruber,who once worked in an art gallery,to identify the original painting whilst the 'nuns' return and end up hiding in the piano.
User ratings: 155
Average rating: 8.1
The Wooing of Widow Artois
Because Hitler wants the painting, Herr Flick orders René to hide the painting, that's concealed in a sausage, in his kitchen.
User ratings: 147
Average rating: 8.0
The Poloceman Cometh
Dressed as a pantomime cow the two airmen narrowly avoid being milked before going to a landing field to pick up their plane home. Unfortunately all the plane does is drop by parachute an intelligence officer called Crabtree,who poses as a gendarme and mangles every attempt at the language. Von Stahm and Rene meanwhile have to stop the train from reaching Berlin as it is carrying the sausage which does not contain the painting. They plan to blow it up and blame the Resistance but fail to do so and the train passes them by.
User ratings: 156
Average rating: 8.2
Swiftly and with Style
Flick comes across Michelle by the roadside,lying in wait for an ammunition lorry which she plans to blow up with a detonator disguised as a bicycle pump - however Flick mistakes it for a genuine cycle pump and blows his car up. Another escape attempt is to be made for the airmen,this time in a balloon and silk knickers are vanishing from the village washing lines to provide the material. Rene explains that the knickers are actually providing the material for Edith's wedding dress,as she has agreed to re-marry him. Monsieur Alphonse,who is already wooing Edith, is enraged at being spurned and challenges Rene to a duel.
User ratings: 147
Average rating: 8.2
The Duel
Whilst the balloon is ready for the off the cowardly Rene tries to duck out of the duel. Gruber,who is in love with him,offers to take his place,whilst Von Strohm and Geering plan to kill Alphonse before the duel can take place. However the plan is thwarted when Hitler,having discovered that there was no painting on the train,orders Flick to arrest the culprits, whom Flick knows to be the German officers. Rene,therefore,is forced to take part in the duel.
User ratings: 145
Average rating: 8.3
Herr Flick's Revenge
Michelle saves René's skin and his reputation by telling Alphonse that he is an heroic member of the Resistance. Alphonse thus has too much respect for him to kill him. However Rene is in drag, which gets him more attention from Gruber. Flick has imprisoned Von Strahm and Geering and also captures Rene, planning to torture them to reveal what happened to the painting. Fortunately Von Klinkerhoffen stops him as he has more influential connections than Flick in the German high command. The airmen are taken to the balloon dressed as mourners in a fake funeral for Madame Fanny who has allegedly died of the plague.
User ratings: 145
Average rating: 8.3
The Gateau from the Chateau
The balloon crashes and the airmen end up back at the cafe,disguised by moose heads. General Von Klinkerhoffen assumes control of the whole area, thereby making many enemies. The Resistance hate him for obvious reasons but Von Strohm,Geering and Flick also feel undermined by his presence. Therefore,at a party he is organizing to mark the Kaiser's birthday,plans are made to kill him,involving poison - in the pill by the till in the jug with the drug - and dynamite hidden in a birthday cake - the candle with the handle in the gateau from the chateau. The poison actually turns out to be aspirin and the candle seems likely to explode and kill everybody so Rene tips a bucket of sand over it,explaining to Von Klinkerhoffen that it was done as a respectful gesture to mark the Kaiser's birthday.
User ratings: 162
Average rating: 8.8
The Nicked Knockwurst
Flick's sausage, containing the forged painting, is kidnapped by the Communist resistance who demand a ransom for its return. Von Strohm and Geering, anxious that Flick does not discover their part in the deception, get Rene to pay the ransom which he does with money Edith obtains from Alphonse. Dressed as a German soldier Rene drops off the money, observed by both German and French parties also in disguise. However Gruber turns up with his dog who runs off with the sausage.
User ratings: 139
Average rating: 8.2
Gruber Does Some Mincing
Gruber is about to mince the sausage his dog brought in when he discovers the painting. The Resistance pay off Alphonse,who provided the ransom money,with notes forged by LeClerc whilst Gruber is ordered to fake another copy of the picture. Michelle intends to get the airman out using an old aeroplane in the museum. It will be powered by the motor from Von Klinkerhoffen's lawn mower,which she has smuggled out in Madame Fanny's wheelchair.
User ratings: 130
Average rating: 8.1
The Sausage in the Wardrobe
Waitress Maria is sent to Gruber with the genuine painting in order for him to copy it. However she is intercepted by Von Klinkerhoffen who puts the painting,inside the sausage,in his wardrobe and refuses to release Maria until he gets his lawn mower motor back. Rene,Von Strohm,Geering and Flick,using the secret passages,break into the chateau to steal back the painting.
User ratings: 150
Average rating: 8.7
Flight of Fancy
Rene has successfully got the painting back so Michelle concentrates on her plan to get the airmen away in the ancient aeroplane. It is to be drawn by a car and catapulted into the air,requiring Rene to steal 800 metres of men's braces,which he does under the guise of his Brotherhood of the Night-Owl. Flick and Helga,aware that something may be afoot,turn up in his staff car but it is flattened by a runaway steam-roller so they miss seeing the failed escape when the plane fails to take off and Rene is flung through the air.
User ratings: 132
Average rating: 8.2
Pretty Maids All in a Row
The airmen are disguised as waitresses at the cafe.However,Von Klinkerhoffen recognizes a Van Gogh,behind which Rene has hidden The Fallen Madonna,and he requisitions it to be taken to the chateau,along with the two 'waitresses'. To thwart this an elaborate pantomime is staged,whereby the two men dress as tarts out to seduce Rene.A supposedly enraged Edith then 'shoots' them with a gun loaded with blanks. The 'corpses' are taken to Alphonse's funeral parlour under which a tunnel has been dug,connecting to the prisoner-of-war camp across the road,in which it is planned to hide the two fugitives.
User ratings: 135
Average rating: 8.3
The Great Un-Escape
As Rene communicates with London on the radio hidden under Madame Fanny's bed Flick listens in and learns of the plan to dig the tunnel into the prison camp. The airmen and Alphonse need help in digging so Rene and his staff join in. Von Strohm and Geering follow Rene and go through the tunnel,which collapses behind them,trapping them and Rene in the camp with the airmen and the cafe staff. Von Klinkerhoffen is about to make his inspection of the prisoners but the Germans and the girls are disguised as British servicemen and fool him.
User ratings: 145
Average rating: 8.5
Prisoners of War
Whilst the suspicious Flick and his henchman Von Smallhausen dig their own tunnel into the camp,the prisoners are planning a mass escape. Von Strohm volunteers Geering as the first to go and he is catapulted over the wire and spirited away into the woods by the Resistance. Gruber dresses as a nun in order to get into the camp to free the others but they take advantage of an entertainment about to be staged and dress up as dancing girls.
User ratings: 126
Average rating: 7.9
Camp Dance
Flick and Von Smallhausen tunnel their way into the camp, only to find that, along with Gruber, everybody has escaped disguised as dancing girls. Flick intercepts Rene's call to London but Rene, realizing this, destroys his radio. The Resistance now have no radio. Nor do they have Maria, who disguised herself as a Red Cross parcel, but, due to insufficient stamps, was sent back to Switzerland. Geering has also gone, since the Resistance assumed he was an escaping British officer and took him to London, where he now has an office in Piccadilly Circus.
User ratings: 121
Average rating: 8.0
Good Staff Are Hard to Find
To replace Maria,Michelle brings in Mimi Labonq,who is very tiny but very tenacious and vows to be Rene's bodyguard. She is also very fanatical and Rene has to stop her from poisoning Flick. A new radio is also brought to the cafe by Roger LeClerc but this coincides with the arrival of Geering's replacement,the Italian Captain Bertorelli. He too almost falls victim to Mimi when he misunderstands her invitation to go upstairs and look at some paintings.
User ratings: 125
Average rating: 8.1
The Flying Nun
Flick suspects Von Strohm and the general of being part of a plot to kill Hitler and plants a microphone,disguised as a daffodil,in the general's office but the only conversation is the Germans trying to get rid of Bertorelli. The Resistance need an aerial to be placed above Flick's jamming signal to block it out so Mimi,dressed as a nun,is sent up in the air attached to a box kite. She asks London to send explosives. Alphonse catches Rene and Yvette at it and regards Edith as back on the market.
User ratings: 127
Average rating: 8.1
The Sausage in the Trousers
The Resistance are awaiting batteries,stolen from the Germans,to operate the wireless under the bed and,in the meantime,Michelle has Rene and Yvette pedalling a bicycle attached to a generator to power it. Helga exposes Flick's efforts to bug the general's office and Von Klinkerhoffen has him arrested. Gruber completes his forgery of the painting and delivers it wrapped up in a sausage. However it gets mixed up with real sausages and ones containing batteries and explosives.
User ratings: 122
Average rating: 8.2
The Jet-Propelled Mother-In-Law
The British air force drops a spy camera with which the Resistance are to photograph the plans for the German invasion of England. However the camera lands in Alphonse's vineyard,which Von Klinkerhoffen has commandeered. When he orders the locals to harvest the grapes the camera is rescued and two attempts made to kill the general. One involves poisoned wine but Alphonse ends up with the glass and spits out the wine.The reserve plan has explosives hidden in Madame Fanny's wheelchair but this too goes wrong and the wheelchair goes whizzing across the countryside.
User ratings: 117
Average rating: 8.1
Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
Flick,dragged up as Irma Von Kinkenrotten,the disguise he used to plant the bug,is still in the dungeon. Von Strohm and Von Klinkerhoffen,aware that he knows of the forgeries,feel he should be silenced and hatch a plan. The Resistance,led by Rene dressed as Himmler,will spring him. The German officers,dressed as Gestapo,whom they will blame if anything goes wrong,are to thwart the escape and put paid to Flick. However,the Resistance have effected the escape before the Germans arrive and they find only Rene,who has swapped places with Flick as the prisoner.
User ratings: 114
Average rating: 8.1
The Camera in the Potato
Rene is finally rescued by Gruber and returns to the cafe,where Michelle tells him that he must take the camera,hidden in a potato,into the chateau and photograph the invasion plans in the safe. The general is lured away to the cafe,where,surviving a seduction attempt by Edith,he finds the colonel in bed with Yvette. Rene is about to enter the chateau when there is an air raid.
User ratings: 108
Average rating: 8.1
Dinner with the General
Rene manages to photograph the safe,which is in Gruber's room and which LeClerc believes he can blow open. Alphonse tells Edith of Rene's affair with Yvette but she believes his denial. Von Klinkerhoffen takes a fancy to Helga and they have a private dinner in his room. Flick and Von Smallhausen,posing as gypsy violinists,serenade them in order to learn whether the general intends to kill Hitler. Smoke bombs are to be dropped down Gruber's chimney,causing a diversion which will allow Rene and LeClerc to come in and open the safe. By mistake the smoke bombs are thrown down the general's chimney instead and he calls the fire brigade.
User ratings: 105
Average rating: 8.0
The Dreaded Circular Saw
Von Klinkerhoffen assumes that the 'gypsies' caused the smoke bomb incident and orders their arrest,so they hide in the wardrobe. This gets blown to bits when LeClerc blows the safe up,but its contents are not the invasion plans but the original Fallen Madonna painting and the Van Gogh the general stole from Rene.The Gestapo officers, Rene and LeClerc all escape but the last two are disguised as Germans and are captured by the Communist Resistance and held prisoner in an old saw-mill. Flick believes the safe blew up because Gruber was hiding explosives with which to kill Hitler and orders Helga to chat him up to find out more. Whilst she is doing so Crabtree and the resistance steal Gruber's tank in order to rescue Rene and LeClerc but Edith crashes it into the village's public convenience.
User ratings: 101
Average rating: 8.1
Otherwise Engaged
While René is told he'll marry Denise Laroque, the British airmen try to surrender to the Germans.
User ratings: 101
Average rating: 7.8
A Marriage of Inconvenience
Rene is not looking forward to marrying Denise and agrees to a romantic dinner with Edith. Michelle has abducted Denise and hidden her in an old mine shaft, the plan being that Edith will take her place at the altar next day. Gruber, not happy at seeing the man he loves get married, is charged by the general to ask Rene where the paintings are and is assured that they are safe. The wedding goes ahead and Rene is surprised to see, when she lifts her veil, that his bride is Edith, not Denise. However the marriage is not legal because, in a counter-plan to prevent the union, the vicar has been replaced by Crabtree.
User ratings: 101
Average rating: 8.1
No Hiding Place
René hasn't married Denise and now tries to find a place to hide because he fears Denise wants to kill him.
User ratings: 100
Average rating: 8.0
The Arrival of the Homing Duck
Rene is thrown out of their truck by the Communists and reports that the paintings are with the Communists at their head-quarters. The general plans an attack to recover them,using Bertorelli's Italians but they are lazy and unwilling to cooperate. A generals' conference is to be held in which the invasion of England is likely to be discussed. Michelle gets Rene to do the catering and to get as much information as he can on the invasion. The results will be sent back to England with a long-distance duck.
User ratings: 102
Average rating: 8.1
Watch the Birdie
The generals gather for the conference but the Resistance learn that one is a French collaborator and must be eliminated so Mimi poisons him and Crabtree takes his place. The duck which will carry the message to England escapes and is shot by Bertorelli but the rest of the plan goes ahead. Edith causes a diversion by offering the generals a curiously strong peppermint each which is a doctored pill which has them foaming at the mouth and requires them to go to hospital. Rene then takes a photograph of the plans using a camera concealed in a 'flip-up' apron. Flick meanwhile has Helga fitted for her - leather -wedding dress.
User ratings: 104
Average rating: 8.4
René - Under an Assumed Nose
General Von Klinkerhoffen tells Von Strohm and Gruber to catch and kill René for trying to poison a group of high German generals.
User ratings: 105
Average rating: 8.2
The Confusion of the Generals
German generals plan to meet at the café disguised as onion sellers. So does a new group of shot down British airmen.
User ratings: 100
Average rating: 8.2
Who's for the Vatican?
Colonel Von Strohm and Gruber tell René to steal the paintings from the headquarters of the Communist Resistance.
User ratings: 97
Average rating: 8.0
Ribbing the Bonk
In order to free Von Strohm, Gruber, Bertorelli (and Mimi and the paintings), René and the others have to rob a bank to pay ransom to the communists.
User ratings: 96
Average rating: 8.0
The Reluctant Millionaires
The money that René and the gang have robbed from the bank turns out to be from Herr Flick, which makes René very nervous.
User ratings: 91
Average rating: 8.0
A Duck for Launch
Herr Flick tries to find his forged stolen money by selling fish in the town square with Von Smallhausen.
User ratings: 94
Average rating: 8.0
The Exploding Bedpan
Monsieur Alphonse is in the hands of the Gestapo and because they fear he might talk and give them away, the colonel and Gruber want him dead.
User ratings: 91
Average rating: 8.0
Going Like a Bomb
When Helga tells Von Strohm the stolen money was false, he thinks up a plan to get rid of the money and captain Bertorelli.
User ratings: 93
Average rating: 8.1
Money to Burn
Herr Flick has arrested monsieur Leclerc and lets it be known he will be shot if the stolen Gestapo money isn't returned.
User ratings: 97
Average rating: 8.1
Puddings Can Go Off
To prevent the Germans from getting it, the resistance will bring 1,000 kilo of explosives to René, disguised as 500 Christmas puddings.
User ratings: 94
Average rating: 7.9
Land Mines for London
Herr Flick knows where the land mines are and, with Von Smallhausen, hides in them to arrest resistance members when they pick the mines up.
User ratings: 94
Average rating: 7.9
Flight to Geneva
After hearing yet another absurd plan of Michelle, René has had it and plans to take the train to Switzerland with Yvette and the paintings.
User ratings: 98
Average rating: 8.2
Train of Events
Many mishaps on the Geneva Express where Edith, Mimi and Yvette want René and the Germans and the Gestapo want the paintings.
User ratings: 95
Average rating: 8.1
An Enigma Variation
René and his personnel have to impersonate the Excelsior Quartet at the château.
User ratings: 98
Average rating: 8.3
Wedding Bloss
Monsieur Alphonse has proposed to Edith and René is scared he'll lose the café and the gold in the cuckoo's clock, so he decides to marry Edith.
User ratings: 92
Average rating: 8.0
Down the Drain
Michelle gives René the Enigma machine and tells him to put it in a wine barrel and throw it in the sewer where a British submarine awaits it.
User ratings: 91
Average rating: 8.0
All in Disgeese
Because they have been unable to get the Enigma machine to England, the Resistance has thought up a plan to get some British Intelligence people to Nouvion.
User ratings: 104
Average rating: 8.3
Desperate Doings in the Graveyard
The Resistance is building a communication center in the empty grave of René's twin brother and madame Fanny announces she's going to marry Ernest Leclerc.
User ratings: 98
Average rating: 8.2
The Gestapo for the High Jump
The Gestapo wants to find the headquarters of the Resistance by pretending to be shot-down British airmen.
User ratings: 94
Average rating: 7.9
The Nouvion Oars
Von Klinkerhoffen doesn't trust the Gestapo at all and orders Helga to marry Herr Flick so she can keep an eye on him.
User ratings: 91
Average rating: 7.8
The Nicked Airmen
The British airmen have been captured by the Germans. Michelle has a plan to get them. So does the Gestapo.
User ratings: 93
Average rating: 7.9
The Airmen De-Nicked
Flick and Von Smallhausen are interrogated by the general for impersonating army officers but released on the orders of Himmler - thanks to Helga. A party of intelligence officers are visiting and the Resistance plan to hi-jack their car,steal their uniforms and that way infiltrate the chateau to get the airmen out. Rene and Edith are the reluctant 'intelligence officers' but the plan works fairly well until the couple find themselves handcuffed to the airmen whilst the key to unlock them is in Berlin.
User ratings: 87
Average rating: 7.9
The Crooked Fences
Herr Flick wants the painting to sell it to obtain money so he can flee. So do the German officers.
User ratings: 91
Average rating: 7.9
Crabtree's Podgeon Pist
The wedding of Ernest and madame Fanny is a cover for the plan to get the British airmen to England by barrage balloon.
User ratings: 91
Average rating: 7.9
Rising to the Occasion
Von Strohm, Gruber, Helga and Bertorelli call General Von Flockenstoffen to deal with a mad General Von Klinkerhoffen, who wants to blow up the town.
User ratings: 94
Average rating: 8.0
A Quiet Honeymoon
Madame Fanny and Ernest Leclerc are being arrested after stealing a motor bike and smashing through a road block.
User ratings: 90
Average rating: 7.6
An Almighty Bang
Edith and Rene manage to free Madame Fanny and LeClerc and hide them in a folding bed in the wall upstairs at the cafe. However they become literally embedded in the wall as the bed gets stuck and Alphonse decides to use dynamite to shift it. This is a total success but it also blows up the two Gestapo officers who have come to interrogate the old couple. Gruber however comes in to say they have been pardoned. Von Fluckenstuffen's plan to kidnap Hitler does not go down well with the other officers when they learn that they are to be part of his suicide squad. However Von Fluckenstuffen gets drunk and demands to inspect Rene's cellar,accusing him of keeping back his best wines. To guide his way he lights a candle,in reality a stick of dynamite which explodes,giving him a nervous breakdown. Thus he changes places with Von Klinkerhoffen in the 'fruitcake ward' and Rene is to be recommended for a medal.
User ratings: 90
Average rating: 7.8
Fleeing Monks
General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to give René a collaboration medal.
User ratings: 88
Average rating: 8.0
Up the Crick Without a Piddle
In England, René and Edith see Captain Hans Geering again.
User ratings: 90
Average rating: 7.9
The Gestapo Ruins a Picnic
General Von Klinkerhoffen wants to restart the local newspaper for Nazi propaganda. René should run it.
User ratings: 89
Average rating: 7.7
The Spirit of Nouvion
René and the gang, as well as the colonel, Gruber and Bertorelli plan to steal the painting from Herr Flick.
User ratings: 85
Average rating: 8.1
Leg It to Spain!
Rene considers flight to Spain dressed as an onion-seller but is stopped by the German officers who ask about the painting. It ends up back with Von Klinkerhoffen, to the annoyance of Flick, who asks Helga help him retrieve it. However she flirts with Bertorelli to make him jealous. Michelle puts the airmen in wine barrels in Rene's cellar to smuggle them out but the general turns up and orders that the barrels be sent to the chateau.
User ratings: 86
Average rating: 7.7
Prior Engagements
The newspaper is published with Edith on the cover representing the 'Spirit of Nouvion'. For the second edition the general decides there should be a show marriage, to be annulled after the war, in order to cement local relations. Edith will marry one of the occupying officers - Bertorelli. There will be a celebration and this will include wine - from the barrels containing the airmen. Michelle and her group manage to float the barrels out through the sewers but they get stuck behind a grid under the cafe.
User ratings: 84
Average rating: 7.8
Soup and Sausage
The hinges on the grid are rusted on solid so Alphonse will chisel away at the surrounds and the grating will be winched up. To camouflage the action Rene will park his old ice cream van over the grating. However Von Klinkerhoffen decides that he wants an ice cream and,at that very moment,the winch pulling the grating up blows the pump on the ice cream maker,covering the general with vanilla ice cream. Meanwhile Helga has gone on a training course and her replacement, Elsa, takes an instant shine to Flick.
User ratings: 81
Average rating: 8.0
René of the Gypsies
On the discovery that a gypsy fair takes place annually in the village, the new Resistance plan is to place a gypsy tent over the grid to disguise the escape. However, the real gypsies cry off, following a bad omen, and Rene and his staff take their places. Rene is a fortune teller, to whom Gruber comes, seeking a message from Rene's 'brother' on the other side. He is frightened off by the sounds of the airmen and runs off as they emerge from the grid - followed by three other airmen, who return to the sewer at the sight of Edith. Flick has Elsa put the forgery in von Strohm's office but they are found out by the general.
User ratings: 85
Average rating: 8.0
A Bun in the Oven
Two years have elapsed and it is now September 1943. The airmen have escaped to England and Bertorelli and the Italian troops have withdrawn. Rene's hopes for peace and quiet are, however, dashed as Yvette announces her pregnancy. With the war now seeming to turn against Germany, Von Klinkerhoffen considers assassinating Hitler. Gruber and Von Strohm hope to sell the original painting and flee to Spain so they get Helga to steal it. To ensure her cut when the sale goes ahead she 'removes' one of the Fallen Madonna's boobies as her insurance.
User ratings: 82
Average rating: 7.8
Arousing Suspicions
Michelle wants Rene to set up a mobile radio station to broadcast propaganda, the parts of which will be dropped by plane. Unfortunately they fall down one of the chateau's chimneys. Happily a Spanish flamenco group are booked to perform there so Rene and his staff impersonate them. Gruber is aware that the real dance troupe contains a Spanish art expert to whom he is to give a photograph of the painting for copying, but he gives it to Alphonse by mistake.
User ratings: 86
Average rating: 7.9
A Woman Never Lies
Herr Flick gives Helga a truth serum.
User ratings: 82
Average rating: 7.9
Hitler's Last Heil
When Michelle hears Hitler and Göring will be coming to Nouvion, she plans to blow them up. Meanwhile, it's René's birthday.
User ratings: 83
Average rating: 8.0
Awful Wedded Wife
The colonel and Gruber decide to make a down payment on the ransom while Helga is still trying to get Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen out of jail.
User ratings: 83
Average rating: 7.7
Firing Squashed
Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen face the firing squad for robbing the pay truck.
User ratings: 84
Average rating: 7.8
A Fistful of Francs
Von Klinkerhoffen orders Gruber and Colonel Von Strohm to dress up as Hitler and Göring pretending to leave town so he can catch any Resistance group that tries to attack them.
User ratings: 87
Average rating: 7.7
Swan Song
After the colonel and Gruber find out Von Klinkerhoffen will get the photo of Gruber with the painting, they plan to flee to Spain.
User ratings: 82
Average rating: 7.9
Fighting with Windmills
The colonel and Gruber's escape plan went awry and they now want to make general Von Klinkerhoffen believe the Resistance had kipnapped them.
User ratings: 85
Average rating: 7.8
Missing and Presumed Dead
While everybody thinks he's dead, René is kept underground in the hide-out of the communist Resistance as a love slave.
User ratings: 85
Average rating: 7.8
René Artois Is Still Dead
Taking advantage of the fact the Germans think René is dead, Michelle has planned for him to go to England to help the British win the war.
User ratings: 82
Average rating: 7.7
The Fishmonger Float
Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen plan to kidnap Yvette and Mimi, dress up like them and, using their keys, go to the café to search for the painting.
User ratings: 84
Average rating: 7.7
A Fishy Sendoff
While René and the others make the final preparations for the parade, the general, the colonel and Gruber - during a game of golf - discuss the plot to blow up Hitler.
User ratings: 83
Average rating: 7.8
A Winkle in Time
Rene and the Cafe staff prepare to welcome the invading British troops, and soon find that the invasion party includes a couple of old friends. Lieutenant Gruber and the Colonel are ordered by the General to stay and fight the invaders, rather than surrender. However, seeing as their defeat is almost certain, the two German officers decide to go AWOL, disguised in stolen British uniforms. The second half of the episode is set many years after the war ends. Gruber, the Colonel and Helga, now private German citizens, return to their old French garrison in search of the old friends they made there.
User ratings: 138
Average rating: 8.8
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