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Seasons: 3
Episodes: 57
User ratings: 29,233
Average rating: 7.2


Tessa Altman is used to the big city but when her dad moves her away, she has to adapt to her new suburban life in Chatswin.

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Season 1

Season 2

Season 3


Episodes details table

Tessa and George have been on their own ever since Tessa's mom pulled a "Kramer vs. Kramer." So far George has done a pretty good job of raising Tessa without a maternal figure in their lives, but suddenly he's feeling a little out of his league, especially after he finds a pack of condoms in her room. So it's goodbye New York City and hello suburbs. At first Tessa is horrified by the big-haired, fake-boobed mothers and their sugar-free, Red Bull-chugging kids. But little by little, she and her dad begin to find a way to survive on the clean streets of the 'burbs. Sure, the neighbors might smother you with love while their kids stare daggers at your back, but underneath all that plastic and caffeine, they're really not half bad. Being in the 'burbs can be hell, but it also may just bring Tessa and George closer than they've ever been.
User ratings: 282
Average rating: 7.5
The Barbecue
Tessa is horrified when she finds herself unexpectedly attracted to her exact opposite, her jock suburban neighbor, and George is pressured by the town to throw the perfect barbecue.
User ratings: 225
Average rating: 7.4
The Chatterer
George joins the PTA and quickly becomes well-liked by the other moms, but in the process former PTA queen bee Sheila Shay starts to feel threatened. Meanwhile Tessa joins the school newspaper and helps Malik revamp it into a tabloid-style paper.
User ratings: 201
Average rating: 7.3
Don't Call Me Shirley
Tessa is excited to see some action in the suburbs when Sheila Shay's Shirley Temple doll collection is stolen, but not so thrilled at the consequences -- Dallas and Dalia are afraid of being burglarized so they crash at the Altmans'.
User ratings: 191
Average rating: 6.9
Tessa channels her inner "suburban girl" for a Halloween costume, but it ends up spooking her friends and everyone at school since she reminds them of a recently "departed" resident of Chatswin. And George is determined to prove to Halloween-hater Dallas that being scared can be fun, but gets a scare of his own when Steven Royce, Dallas' husband, finally comes home from one of his many business trips.
User ratings: 189
Average rating: 7.5
Charity Case
Irritated by all the cafeteria waste at school, Tessa motivates the student body to get involved with giving back. Unfortunately their charity of choice involves helping residents of Florida improve their complexions. When Tessa introduces a homeless transsexual to the student body as part of a lesson, they decide that Tessa is really the person in need. Meanwhile George receives a large dental bill from Noah, which puts a strain on their relationship.
User ratings: 177
Average rating: 7.3
Sweet Sixteen
Dallas convinces Tessa to let Dalia plan the ultimate birthday bash for Tessa at the country club. Plus, when George throws his back out, Sheila Shay (ANA GASTEYER) cares for him.
User ratings: 182
Average rating: 7.4
On a trip to the city, Dallas and Tessa see George making out with a woman while he is supposed to be "working." Tessa confronts George during Thanksgiving dinner at the Royces.
User ratings: 168
Average rating: 7.8
The Nutcracker
When Tessa overhears George break up with his girlfriend, Zoe, on Skype, she blames herself for his failed relationship and decides that she's going to get them back together. Unbeknownst to her, though, George is really enamored with Tessa's cute art teacher, Aimee. He admits to Mr. Wolfe that he's over dating crazy city women, and that he's looking for love in the burbs. George decides to embrace the holiday spirit with a tree trimming party complete with ex-girlfriend, potential new girlfriend and the Royces, and he soon finds himself under the mistletoe with a special someone.
User ratings: 159
Average rating: 7.6
Driving Miss Dalia
When Tessa gets her driver's license, Dalia hires her to drive her around to stalk her crush, Scott Strauss. As a result Tessa realizes that she and Scott might have feelings for each other. Meanwhile George and Noah's relationship is put to the test when George decides he wants to join the local country club.
User ratings: 174
Average rating: 7.6
Out in the Burbs
When Tessa is asked to show new guy Josh Sherman around school, she becomes convinced that he's gay, when in fact he's an undercover narcotics officer. Lisa becomes deeply infatuated with Josh, and Tessa inadvertly convinces Mr. Wolfe to make special announcement to the student body. Meanwhile George re-evaluates his relationship with Dallas.
User ratings: 157
Average rating: 7.5
The Casino Trip
After winning a weekend trip to Atlantic City in a raffle, George takes Noah, Fred, Alex, and Tom for a "guy's night out". Once there, Fred has to face his gambling addiction, and George runs into Dallas' husband. Meanwhile, Tessa uses the time home alone to get to know Scott Strauss better.
User ratings: 170
Average rating: 7.4
Sex and the Suburbs
George finds it difficult to talk to Tessa about sex after he finds a box of condoms in her room, so he seeks advice from her peers. While sending out the laundry, Dallas makes a discovery that leads to a life change.
User ratings: 168
Average rating: 7.5
The Body
When Tessa realizes that she's failing gym class, she decides to run for student body president in hopes of changing Chatswin High's obsession with sports. During the election, Lisa steps in as Tessa's campaign manager against Kenzie and Kaitlyn. Meanwhile, Ryan is injured during a wrestling match and finds himself mourned by his family, and George takes Ryan under his wing and introduces him to people who have moved forward from setbacks.
User ratings: 154
Average rating: 7.2
Fire with Fire
When Jill turns to the newly single Dallas for inspiration and support, her marriage to Noah goes on the rocks. Meanwhile Dallas begins spending a lot of time with her hot younger boyfriend, Yoni, which causes tension with George, and Dalia befriends Lisa to get back at Tessa for dating Scott Strauss -- so Tessa decides to take action and recruits Kimantha to make Dalia jealous.
User ratings: 155
Average rating: 7.5
Poetic Injustice
When Fred and Sheila strike up a croquet match with Dallas and George, Fred misreads Sheila's interest in George. Fred tells George that Sheila is fantasizing about him and asks him to seduce her. Meanwhile Tessa desperately wants to impress the new poetry teacher, Ms. Evans, but she seems to prefer Dalia's prose.
User ratings: 148
Average rating: 7.1
Independence Day
When George picks Tessa up late from school she decides to get a job working for Dallas in order to buy her own wheels. Meanwhile Dallas invites her sorority sisters to stay with her in order to celebrate the opening of her store, A Crystal Cup of Crystals; however her rival sorority sister, Tulsa, decides to crash the party.
User ratings: 154
Average rating: 7.3
Down Time
Dalia makes a breakthrough in therapy with her psychiatrist (guest star JAMES LIPTON - Inside the Actors Studio) and Lisa and Malik (MAESTRO HARRELL) try to set up Tessa.
User ratings: 154
Average rating: 7.3
Entering Eden
George meets a woman at the Chatswin Farmer's Market named Eden (recurring guest star ALICIA SILVERSTONE) and is immediately attracted to her and her healthy eating habits.
User ratings: 149
Average rating: 7.4
Hear No Evil
As George and Eden's (recurring guest star ALICIA SILVERSTONE) relationship gets serious, he decides to introduce her to Tessa.
User ratings: 133
Average rating: 7.3
The Great Compromise
Tessa adjusts to having Eden (ALICIA SILVERSTONE) living with them and George has difficulty with Eden's parenting. Malik (MAESTRO HARRELL) and Lisa debate which camp to attend.
User ratings: 136
Average rating: 7.1
The Motherload
In the season finale, George and Eden (ALICIA SILVERSTONE) attend the Lerners' baby shower and Fred (CHRIS PARNELL) surprises Sheila with a performance by JAMES INGRAM.
User ratings: 161
Average rating: 7.5
In the season premiere, Tessa returns to Chatswin after spending the summer in New York City with her grandmother, and George feels threatened by Tessa's interest in her mom.
User ratings: 148
Average rating: 7.5
The Witch of East Chatswin
Tessa becomes the interest of the infamous East Chatswin witch (RACHEL DRATCH - Saturday Night Live) in this Halloween-themed episode. George and Noah dress up as each other.
User ratings: 127
Average rating: 7.6
Ryan's Song
When Lisa agrees to help Ryan (PARKER YOUNG) pursue Tessa, her generosity has Ryan believing that he must be dying of "Ryan disease." George and Dallas go on their first date.
User ratings: 131
Average rating: 7.5
Foam Finger
George and Dallas take their relationship to the next level, and Kimantha (ABBIE COBB), Kaitlyn (KATELYN PACITTO) and Kenzie (KARA PACITTO) seek guidance from Tessa and Lisa.
User ratings: 126
Average rating: 7.3
The Wishbone
Dallas tasks George with hosting Thanksgiving dinner while Tessa goes to New York City to spend the day with her birth mom, Alex (MALIN AKERMAN). Tessa returns home to a surprise.
User ratings: 129
Average rating: 7.9
Friendship Fish
George gets a visit from some friends from New York, who make fun of his new life. Tessa and Lisa bond over eating smoked fish, but Tessa ends up in the hospital.
User ratings: 114
Average rating: 7.3
Tessa goes to New York for a Christmas excursion with her mom (MALIN AKERMAN), and soon learns to be careful what you wish for. Ryan (PARKER YOUNG) finds out that he was adopted.
User ratings: 134
Average rating: 7.9
Black Thai
An argument begins after Tessa and Dalia get their PSAT scores and the only way to settle it is with an old-fashioned hip hop dance-off. TIM MEADOWS guest stars.
User ratings: 116
Average rating: 7.4
Junior Secretary's Day
When Tessa has her wisdom teeth removed, George struggles to manage her recovery and their neighbor Fred Shay, who has taken up residence in their basement. Dallas feels insecure.
User ratings: 108
Average rating: 7.4
Chinese Chicken
George convinces Noah and Fred to start a "dad band" as a way to escape their significant others. Tessa discovers what it means to be the girlfriend of a football player.
User ratings: 112
Average rating: 7.4
Yakult Leader
When Yakult becomes depressed, Dallas invites Yoni (recurring guest star WILMER VALDERRAMA) back into their lives to help remove the negative energy. Tessa and Lisa double date.
User ratings: 113
Average rating: 7.1
Body Talk
After realizing part of her property is located in East Chatswin, Dallas' life is thrown into a tailspin after she's kicked out of the country club and Dalia must change schools.
User ratings: 105
Average rating: 7.3
Blowtox and Burlap
On Valentine's Day, Dallas has a bad reaction to a cosmetic procedure, and George has to enjoy an 18-course meal from renowned Chef Julio (MICHAEL VOLTAGGIO - Top Chef) by himself.
User ratings: 101
Average rating: 7.2
T-Ball & Sympathy
When Tessa becomes a relationship expert, she gives advice to everyone - even people who don't ask for it. George helps Dallas coach a T-ball team.
User ratings: 101
Average rating: 7.0
Leaving Chatswin
When Marty (JACK WALSH) passes away, George and Noah have to figure out what to do with his ashes. Meanwhile, Tessa learns that Ryan (PARKER YOUNG) hasn't been honest with her.
User ratings: 103
Average rating: 7.3
How to Be a Baby
Dalia convinces Mr. Wolfe to try a new look to get over his breakup with Chef Alan (EVAN ARNOLD). Noah is convinced Carmen (BUNNY RIVERA) is the love of his life.
User ratings: 103
Average rating: 6.9
Eat, Pray, Eat
Feeling as if she'll never compare to Geroge's ex, Dallas seeks solace in carbs and Jill Werner (GILLIAN VIGMAN). Tessa believes that she has lost her youthful vigor.
User ratings: 103
Average rating: 7.0
Brown Trembler
Noah and baby Opus are living it up at George's, Dalia comes to terms with her hoarding and Fred takes lessons from Tessa on how to be hip.
User ratings: 96
Average rating: 7.1
When George agrees to participate in the "Dads of Chatswin" calendar, he becomes obsessed with his body image, alienating Dallas. Dalia buddies up to Tessa, and Lisa finds out why.
User ratings: 98
Average rating: 7.6
Go, Gamblers!
George asks Dallas to move in with him in the most unromantic way and Tessa helps Ryan (PARKER YOUNG) pick a college.
User ratings: 95
Average rating: 7.4
Apocalypse Meow
In the first part of the one-hour season finale, relationships are tested when George sells the house, buys Dallas her dream home and Tessa moves out.
User ratings: 114
Average rating: 8.1
Stray Dogs
In the second part of the one-hour season finale, relationships are tested when George sells the house, buys Dallas her dream home and Tessa moves out.
User ratings: 122
Average rating: 8.0
No Me Gusta, Mami
After Tessa's mom disappears, George tries to rebuild his relationship with Tessa and he introduces her to his new dog. When Sheila Shay discovers that there's a dog on the loose in Chatswin, she dedicates herself to tracking this canine fiend and it is up to Tessa and George to protect the dog. Meanwhile, Dalia shuns Dallas after breaking up with "Daddy Altman."
User ratings: 107
Average rating: 7.3
Victor Ha
When empty-nest syndrome hits the Shay household, Sheila and Fred take in a foster kid named Victor, who they believe to be a mini Ryan. Jealous of the new Ryan, Lisa decides to make Victor's life difficult and reveal him as a con. Meanwhile, Tessa puts the breaks on George's friendship with Dalia
User ratings: 87
Average rating: 7.5
Open Door Policy
Tessa becomes concerned when George lets himself go after his breakup with Dallas and calls on George's dad to help him move on, but his father's advice and blatant attempts rub George the wrong way. Meanwhile, Tessa discovers that Ryan is coming home to visit and that he's bringing his new girlfriend.
User ratings: 89
Average rating: 7.5
The Birds and the Biederman
When Dallas sees George at the dog park, she recruits Dalia to negotiate her territory in Chatswin, while Tessa has to represent George's interests. Tessa notices that Lisa is spending a lot of time with Ryan's girlfriend, June, and Fred is worried that Sheila is distancing herself.
User ratings: 88
Average rating: 7.5
Blame It on the Rainstick
When Noah is released from a court-mandated anger management program, George is shocked to find a docile Noah has replaced his former hot-headed friend. Shaken by the change, George decides to put the new Noah to the test. Meanwhile, Tessa ditches "senior tanning" and meets a cool new-age band hanging out at the park; but the free-spirited music group isn't exactly what they appear.
User ratings: 85
Average rating: 7.4
About a Boy-Yoi-Yoing
When George becomes enamored with Chatswin's latest hot spot - a juice bar - Tessa reminds him of their pact to not get sucked into Chatswin culture. This inspires George and Fred to take a trip to New York, which doesn't turn out the way George had planned. Meanwhile, Tessa is pressured into attending Evan's birthday party and reveals what she really thinks of him.
User ratings: 80
Average rating: 7.3
I'm Just Not That Into Me
When Tessa drags Malik and Lisa to a college party, she meets a male version of herself and becomes enamored. They see eye to eye on everything and it's almost the perfect relationship. Meanwhile, Dallas enlists a matchmaker to set her and Dalia up, but the matchmaker convinces Dallas to date herself and she decides to get back to basics with a new look.
User ratings: 82
Average rating: 7.5
Catch and Release
When Lisa decides to propose to Malik, Tessa isn't sure how to support her friend and turns to George for advice. After Lisa's proposal doesn't go as planned, Tessa steps up and is inspired to fight for Ryan. Meanwhile, George believes his girlfriend, Nora, might be rude to her employees.
User ratings: 114
Average rating: 8.2
The Ballad of Piggy Duckworth
When Dallas's mother passes away, she recruits Tessa to take a trip to the South with her to attend the funeral. During the trip, Dallas confronts her rivalry with her sister and her feelings toward her mother. Meanwhile, George, Noah and Fred go on a group date that results in a stalker for Fred.
User ratings: 90
Average rating: 7.8
No, You Can't Sit with Us
Tessa decides to mentor a young social outcast in the Miss Chatswin pageant to make a statement; Victor goes missing while on a camping trip with George, Noah and Fred.
User ratings: 81
Average rating: 7.1
Dalia Nicole Smith
When Dalia is rejected from the only college she applied to, Dallas is determined to help her daughter find her calling; George and Tessa go on a double date.
User ratings: 82
Average rating: 7.5
Les Lucioles
Tessa struggles with the budget while planning Lisa and Malik's wedding; Sheila gives Lisa advice.
User ratings: 90
Average rating: 7.9
Stiiiiiiill Horny
Lisa and Malik learn some of the difficulties of marriage. While George and Dallas are still caught up thinking about their "night" together. Tessa continues to think about Ryan.
User ratings: 126
Average rating: 8.2
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